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Your Mother, My Father

from Hide Your Fires by Homunculust

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lyrics

You are not your mother's many tantrums.
I am not, and I hope I don't become, my father's heart.
There's a million bad ways this could end
or is already ending,
and I wish I could say
there are still some good ways it could start,
but we're already past that part.

I'll meet you at midnight in the parking lot of a pastel motel.
Ten hours of driving to see you,
and all you can say is, "You look like hell."
Well, what are these journeys for, what are these visits about
if you only wait to see me to see if I'll turn around
before I even hit the ground?

Well, do all the yoga you want to --
you'll never spread as far as your mother's legs.
And, try as I might, when I write, I can't quite get inside
my father's brain.
There's a million bad ways this could end
or is already ending,
and I wish I could say
there are still some good ways it could start,
but we're already past that part.

We went to the ocean, one winter, and I nearly froze,
till your hair blew around me and squeezed --
a cocoon, or a host.
And, when I emerged, well, you burst into blizzards of light
that I tried to realign, but I lost to the strength of the night
and to my shortness of sight.

Well, I still carry anger.
It's there in the base of my spine,
but I don't let it go to my throat;
if I unravel, I may never rewind.
And I'm sorry you exploded
and I stood dumb until you were gone.
and I'm sorry my fists just grip pens
that insist on writing songs
instead of righting any wrongs.

There's a million bad ways this could end
or is already ending.
I wish I could say
there are still some good ways it could start,
but we're so, so, so far past that part.

credits

from Hide Your Fires, released November 2, 2016

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Homunculust Portland, Oregon

Busted love.
Booty love.
Possible monsters.
Actual monsters.

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